Thursday, January 27, 2011

It's My Birthday, Too

Next week will be the sixth anniversary of starting the blog. I'm almost reflexively unsentimental, but I did look backwards this week and noted how in the earliest blogs I was less mesmerized by toast and didn't understand where to place periods with regards to quotation marks. I'd correct those but that seems disingenuous and you know I'm nothing but an ingenue.

The traditional presents for the sixth anniversary are candy and iron; no, really. I toyed with buying myself a flintlock draped in caramels, but I couldn't think of where to put it and I don't need the calories. Besides,the blog isn't my spouse so much as a child, a child who alternately exhausts and charms me. Like a child, it's grown and changed. Like a child, it's kept me up nights. Like a child, once or twice the blog has vomited all over the back of my car.

And now the blog-kid and I begin a brand-new adventure. The blog begat the book, which begat two whole bookstore-readings. Each time, reading my book to a small but appreciative audience (many of whom were there because they're kind of related to me), I'd think "I LOVE READING MY BOOK OUT LOUD!" Then I'd sigh inwardly and think, "Oh, if only I could read my book to people, but at their ease and convenience, ideally in a way where I didn't actually have to look at them," because I'm oddly shy.

A year passed.

And then, in a flash, it came to me. I would read a chapter of my book into this newfangled device they call a microphone and through a magical series of interactions probably involving countless hamsters on wheels and monkeys slaving away at typewriters, I could offer one chapter on iTunes and Amazon.

And so I did.

Let's get this out of the way; it's not free. It is .99 cents on Amazon and 1.99 on iTunes. The 1.99 on iTunes is because it's over ten minutes, which means iTunes has declared it too long to be worth less than a dollar. I don't pretend to understand what makes Steve Jobs happy besides black turtlenecks, so I can only say that at over thirteen minutes, it's fifteen cents a minute. If there's interest--if enough people besides me think my reading my book is a good idea-- I'll take whatever I make and plow it back into studio time for more chapters. If you're interested, look to your right and see where it says "Audio Books/Chapters"? That's where you would click.

I waited a year to do this in part because I'm dithery like that and in part because bringing a mercenary element to a blog is always socially awkward. So, let me assure you that this is a side-activity for me; I won't scorn you if you don't have to buy the chapter. But I will say this; I think it came out pretty well.

And now if you'll excuse me, I have some flintlock-caramels to eat.


Anonymous LifesizeLD said...

Cool idea. I'm gonna get this just for the opportunity to laugh at you without getting smacked.

9:01 PM  
Anonymous Robin Raven said...

That's awesome. I'm going to buy it now. :-)

9:15 PM  
Anonymous Steve said...

I will buy it. Please read the whole thing.

10:18 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

I want to hear you read us stories about the Cranky Roman Family - in Latin AND English! :) I'd TOTALLY buy that.

6:34 AM  
Anonymous Grace said...

I found your blog because of your book, and I came across your book in Honolulu while looking for something to read while I slurped Second Captains on Waikiki Beach. I laughed the whole way through it, and I think it deserves a third, fourth, and fifth reading. So if you're ever interested in reading in St. Augustine, Florida, I'm your girl.

4:43 PM  
Anonymous Beth Harbison said...

I would pay $1.99 to hear you read my grocery list. As long as you interject some opinions on how stupid my purchases are. So - sold!

You're effing awesome! When will there be a new book? I'm starting to be a one-trick-pony recommending NOTES FROM THE UNDERWIRE to anyone and everyone. Gimme more!!!!!!!!

(Yes. It's all about me.)

9:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm with Beth.....I also just figured out how to actually BUY things off Itunes and load them onto my IPOD. (Hey my son's been away at college and it's only taken me a year and a half to accomplish this.) VERY much looking forward to buying it. The only thing I am not looking forward to is the looks I will get at the gym while I am listening to it and laugh out loud. A lot.

12:02 PM  

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