Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The Stage is a World of Entertainment

You know you’ve waited too long to write when your mother calls and says, “Are you okay?” Yeah, it’s 2011, I’m a grown woman (grown enough so that the AARP keeps sending me some version of Save the Date cards) and my mother is reminding me to write to my friends on the intertubes.

Lots of stuff going on around here, but nothing to talk about. And stuff I can talk about is about the kid and I won’t talk about her. So I decided you all are getting...

A MOVIE PREVIEW!!!!

Because people always like previews, right?

Oh, fine. Then just eat your overpriced candy and your Jacuzzi o’soda and try to remember if you locked the back door before you left the house.

THE FOLLOWING LIFE IS RATED PG-13, MOSTLY FOR LANGUAGE AND THE OCCASIONAL ACTION OF THE DOG ON THE UNWITTING GUEST.

Black screen.

VOICE-OVER MAN: ...In a world where honor is lost and people are wearing acid-washed jeans again, one woman stands alone, daring to ask the question-

CUT to QUINN, in her hallway, looked puzzled.

QUINN: Has no one seen my keys?

VOICE-OVER MAN: ...Action...

(Quick cuts of QUINN driving DAUGHTER places, CONSORT sitting under the computer table with a handful of cords, the CAT quietly vomiting on to a washcloth)

VOICE-OVER MAN: ...Adventure...

(Cut to QUINN driving, while rummaging through her purse. She finds something, throws it to DAUGHTER in the back seat)

QUINN: Here! Breath mints! There’s your snack!

(Cut to CONSORT dragging Christmas tree out the front door.)

CONSORT: Evil little (soundtrack covers word for preview), you fit through this door three weeks ago. Ah, (soundtrack covers word), stupid (more soundtrack) (still more soundtrack) tree poked me in the (soundtrack) eye! Mother-(perhaps we use opera, for the length and volume of the notes).

(Cut to CATS, doing something ill-advised with tinsel.)

VOICE-OVER MAN: ...Romance...

(Cut to dog, letting an unwitting guest know he finds her terribly compelling.)

VOICE-OVER MAN: ...From the people who brought you QUINN 2010...QUINN 2011.

(Cut to Quinn, in the car, driving, and child in back seat. The dog is in the passenger seat. The car is blaring someone slowly and carefully saying “You are a businessman. You are a businessman,” then saying the same in Chinese. )

QUINN: I’m getting too old for this...ooh, look! Burrito food-truck!

(The car abruptly veers to the right and the screen goes black.)


On the screen is written, Coming to a house and a mom-car near you.

12 Comments:

Anonymous --Deb said...

Love, love, love, love, love. Can't wait until the DVD!

8:03 PM  
Blogger Deeann said...

The best movie I've read this year!

11:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are hilarious! Thank you for making me laugh while up in the middle of the night with a head cold. I'm compelled to share this on Facebook since there is no one awake with me save my own cat, who finds parts of the plot disturbing. His mind races wildly to unnecessary tragedy...

1:16 AM  
Blogger BMHicks said...

Think this will come to cable? :)

Love it and welcome back, we missed you Quinn!

7:28 AM  
Blogger Rene/ Not The Rockefellers said...

Oh please say it's in IMAX...

11:28 AM  
Blogger Char said...

i laughed, i cried....two thumbs up roger

1:39 PM  
Anonymous Showcase Talent said...

Good and informative post about Entertainment. Thanks for sharing it.

10:21 PM  
Anonymous Robin Raven said...

I'd definitely watch. :-)

I admire your stance to not talk about Daughter too personally. Not that you need my little approval. ;-) But I just admire that.

Random, but did you ever read "Running With Scissors"? I'm so behind in great books sometimes, and I just love it.

9:26 PM  
Blogger princess said...

so sweet nice
Entertainment

11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I swear this movie sounds just like a dream I had . . . . or maybe it was a flashback . . . hmmm

4:30 PM  
Anonymous Beth Harbison said...

I remember the prequel to this, starring Beth Harbison and....who was it? Jan-Michael Vincent? Yes, it starred both 1972 J-M V and 1999 J-M V. It was funny and sad but ultimately badly produced and you can't even get it on DVD now, though I have an old Betamax tape of it somewhere in my head.

9:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow, I just finished watching 80 episodes of Family (1976-1980) and loved Quinn Cummings acting so much. It is unfortunate that the show ended so soon when it was entering the 1980s. I do think Quinn's character would have added further complexities in the life of a teenager growing up in the neo-geo 80s world.

thank you for the memories.

-william c.

9:15 PM  

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