Farm Living is the Life for Me

I stand in a grocery store tapping and investigating the watermelon as if I am learning anything about it besides the fact that I'm pretty certain it's a watermelon. And my mother's agrarian ancestors gaze on in spectral disgust and whisper to one another "This is what you get when you marry city people."

Lookin' For a Better Way To Get Up Out of Bed

Yep, going to try for a small blurb each and every day.

So, I can tell you how the summer is going or I can tell you three things:

1.  PET SOUNDS IS GETTING GREAT REVIEWS! IT MAKES PEOPLE HAPPY AND ALSO FEEDS ANIMALS WAITING FOR THEIR FOREVER HOMES! CHECK THAT BABY OUT! IF YOU LIKE IT, PLEASE TELL YOUR FRIENDS!

2. THE YEAR OF LEARNING DANGEROUSLY comes out in paperback on August 6th! It's cheap, it's easy! I'll come interact with your friends and loved ones at book clubs if that tips the balance towards buying it! If the thought of me near you is off-putting, I promise to stay many feet away.

3. The kid has had a fully-realized summer. In related news, I drove 3,000 miles in two weeks.

Wait, there's another snapshot:

4. I spent this glorious summer afternoon sitting in my car eating a half-finished container of seaweed I found in the glove compartment while waiting for the kid to first finish sports-practice and then for her to finish being an altar-attendant at a funeral. On the plus side, ALLIE BROSH'S BOOK IS COMING OUT! I READ IT AND ATE SEAWEED! It's glorious! Get it at Vroman's in Pasadena!

Now that I think of it, it's been a pretty great summer.

I Read the News Today, Oh Boy

Dear Southern Evangelical Christian Mommy-Blogger,

I read your blog. I started reading it while doing research for THE YEAR OF LEARNING DANGEROUSLY and never stopped. You and I agree that your daughters are adorable, your life seems happy and fulfilled and that no sane person should ever turn down a devilled egg. We're less in agreement over the inerrancy of the Bible, but no friendship is perfect. Yes, I used the word "Friendship" for someone I've never met. I know I'm wrong, but I feel as if I know you. I know what small city you live in. I know your daughter's names; I even know your daughter's middle names. I know where you like to spend Tuesday afternoons. Actually, I know more about your life than I know about people I have on my speed-dial.

Which brings us to this letter.You write with an assumption that your readers are mostly like you and while I imagine many of them are, some of them are not. Not everyone looking at your pictures of your pre-school age daughters posing in their swimsuits is benign. Those pictures don't just exist on your website; they exist on the Internet and can go where they will. Putting a watermark on it is nice, but that isn't going to keep those pictures off websites dedicated to people who find small children sexually appealing. And then you've given those people all the information they need to stalk you. You obviously adore your daughters,  and you're so cautious about outside influences in their lives, but this blog is no longer just read by their grandparents, which is what you've said was the original intent. As much as I enjoy watching your girls grow, I'm begging you to take them offline.

Yours truly,
A Concerned Reader



(Now it's your turn; am I being overly-vigilant and paranoid? Don't worry about hurting my feelings, I've been called both before.)