Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Mystical Divinity of Unashamed Felinity

Conclusion I have reached after several heart-stopping moments recently:

Cat toys which become favored by cats and therefore spread throughout the house take two forms. They look exactly like something once living and now dead, if spotted out of the corner of your eyes. Or, if you get up to go to the bathroom and the room is dark and you aren't terribly clear-minded, they feel exactly like something once living and now dead under your instep.

I'm off to drink chamomile tea now.


Blogger Margaret said...

I have had both of these experiences, and I have the very worst dead-thing-phobia ever.

5:39 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

I feel your pain.

We also have some cat toys that have the misfortune of being the exact shade of greyish brown as the hairballs our cat loves to gack up all over the not-easily-cleanable parts of the house, like the carpet in the family room, the fancy, wool area rug in the living room, the foot of the bed. (Okay fine, the bedding isn't hard to clean but it is a PITA.)

So, those of us who might be preoccupied with something else and are walking from here to there are frequently stopped dead in our tracks when we spy something out of the corner of our preoccupied eye that strongly resembles yet another hairball. Strangely enough, the relief felt upon discovering that no, in fact it is one of the cat's collection of toy mice is never enough to mitigate the initial feelings of "Oh hell, another freaking hairball to clean off the rug...."

Hmmm, I think this comment might be longer than the original post. I'll stop now.

5:42 PM  
Anonymous Judy S said...

Or they are breakable and prove that when your foot firmly lands on them, reducing them to a pile of tiny plastic pieces, several of which move around the house stuck to the bottom of your toy-icidal foot.

7:32 PM  
Blogger weavinfool said...

To tell the difference : the actual formerly alive carcass feels soft on the outside and then feels crunchy as your weight settles on it. Guess how I know?

I also know what it is like to find a live rattlesnake coiled up in the middle of the bathroom rug and then have it disappear into the space between the wall and the cabinets so it can't be caught. Then 5 weeks later it reappeared in the bathroom stretched out along the baseboard. We got him that time.

Beware the open window for the cat's convenience!

7:47 AM  
Blogger kate sweeten said...

I would SO trade stepping on the mutilated cat toy versus stepping in luke-warm cat vomit in the wee hours of the morning...which may or may not have happened to me on the way to the bathroom shortly after dawn :(

8:27 AM  
Blogger Quirky said...

Identifying with both Kate and Heather...I can diagnose the sound of a cat hoarking up hairballs from 20 miles away. That momentary freeze after the first hack registers, then racing through the house as fast as you can to grab the offending cat before he hacks up on something impossible to clean (like shoes...why do they love vomiting on my shoes?)

As for the dead cat toys, if you think stepping on them is bad, you should try rolling over on them while in bed. Our cats enjoy bringing their toys into the bed with us at night (the cat definition of "stuffed animals"?) and there's nothing like rousing from a deep sleep to realize that a dead shaped something is sharing your pillow with you. Trust me, that'll get you going at 3am!

10:30 AM  
Blogger I Wonder Wye said...

I used to keep the window open for Gogo until we were awakened at 4 a.m. by a frantically squeeking mouse running along our bodies, and a mad cat. When I went into the basement the next day I found body parts everywhere. It was like 'The Night of the Living Dead.' ((shiver)). Go has to stay in during the night now.

8:21 PM  
Anonymous Robin Raven said...

Oh, my. Hope Anne and Diana are doing well, other than that gross out factor. ha We kept four dog sisters together growing up, and it was so very interesting to see their very different personalities, voices and behaviors, yet how they stuck together as sisters. Hope the chamomile tea is accompanied by a Q-Tea. ;-)

5:09 AM  
Blogger Eris said...

Perhaps add some vodka to your tea. That will help.

5:12 PM  
Blogger badrhinogillett said...

I think what is worse is looking at the dog with the cats' mouse toy in her mouth and then realizing that the cats don't HAVE a mouse toy.

That day still makes me shudder!

8:17 PM  
Anonymous elseinwmb said...

I walk around barefoot indoors and I will take a cat toy over a freshly expelled hairball any day.
The worst is when they start hacking on the bed and you have to get them off before the real thing comes up!!!!!! Ugh

4:20 PM  

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