Sunday, March 15, 2009

Wilkommen. Bienvenue. Welcome.

It didn’t come as a complete surprise. My mom had left me an email today to the effect of “Hey, ‘The Goodbye Girl’ is playing on cable. I guess you should be expecting a residual check. Try not to spend the whole thirty-one cents in one place.” Knowing that the movie showing somewhere on cable has sent my blog-audience upwards in past, I idly checked Hit Counter or, as I refer to it: The outer manifestation of my inner worth. Oh, how worthy I was. As of a few minutes ago I have had about eleven times as many visitors today as I usually do on a Sunday. I blame rainstorms in the Southeast, daylight savings time and a bunch of people pulling out their tax paperwork, spending twenty minutes on it and flipping on the television to get the taste of itemized deductions out of their mouths.

So, for those of you who are new here, welcome to my blog. Had I known the movie was going to be playing I’d have cleaned up, put out some snacks, found the source of the weird odor. But please, make yourself comfortable. I’ll try to answer your questions. I have always sworn I wouldn’t do the blog about the search terms which have led people to my blog because, really, everyone has done it and nearly everyone has done it better. Then again, I see a few in here that I can answer reasonably well. And, yes, these are actual queries that showed up on Hit Counter.

“Quinn Cummings dead?” No. Your first clue that I’m alive is that dead people hardly ever write blogs. Then again, maybe I’m some person only pretending to be Quinn Cummings, which I think would show a remarkable lack of ambition. Personally, if I were going to pretend to be any former child actor who annoyed a percentage of the population, I’d pretend to be Robbie Rist, who played Cousin Oliver in the last years of The Brady Bunch. But I’m really me and I’m not dead. The greenish-yellow tinge to my skin is just a by-product of caffeine consumption.

“Quinn Cummings gay?” I wear flat shoes, I have no talent with eye-liner, I really like the Indigo Girls, and yet I am not a lesbian.

“Quinn Cummings divorced?” I am not divorced, neither from a man nor from a woman. I did, however, once have a tabby cat that left me and moved in with the family next door because he hated me so much. There wasn’t much property to divide, thank heaven.

“Quinn Cummings naked pictures” No. Not when I was young, not now, and not ever unless I am cited in the Journal of Unexplained Bruises. Even then, I will demand one of those black bars over my eyes and a kicky pageboy wig.

“Quinn Cummings worst child actor ever” That seems less like a search term and more like someone hoping to find a chat group of like-minded individuals. I can’t imagine there’s much to say to one another after you all agree that I’m the worst child actor ever. Maybe you could exchange recipes.

“Quinn Cummings blog” Again, welcome! Here’s the blog. Here are the regular characters: There’s me. There’s Consort, my stylish and occasionally absent-minded better half. There’s Daughter, who gracefully accepts that I will sometimes write about her. There’s the dog, who is quite handsome when he’s not filthy. There’s the cat, who used to be known as Lulabelle until we found out that someone popped a cap in her ass and is now known as Lupac. The house occasionally makes a guest-appearance, mostly as a cautionary tale to anyone who has ever romanticized fixing up an old house.

"Whatever happened to Quinn Cummings?" I've wondered that myself quite a bit. As far as I can tell, mostly salt-retention.

“Quinn Cummings blog about?” I think what you’re asking is what my blog is about. Am I one of those people who have chosen to document making every food referenced in the Bible? Am I knitting sweaters for a chilly segment of some beleagured population and following my progress? No, I am not. My blog is about very little. I have a nearly eidetic memory for when I’ve made an idiot out of myself in public and writing about it seems to fulfill some need. Also, I like to write about toast. *

“Quinn Cummings book?” Thank you for asking. It’s called “Notes from the Underwire” and it will be out on July 7th. I’m very excited and I plan to never read a single review so that I can keep this level of happiness.

“Quinn Cummings stupid?” I prefer differently abled.

In sum, I am not dead, I am heterosexual, I have spawned and I sometimes insult little people. I hope this answers your questions. Come again soon!


[* More than I realized. Type "toast" in the Search Blog box up there in the top-left corner.]


Blogger Thumper said...

:::ponders if placing the keywords 'Quinn Cummings' will help my stats at all:::

8:43 PM  
Blogger Char said...

:) glad I was somewhat ahead in line.

10:07 PM  
Blogger breathe as me said...

i feel really lame for all i did was google "quinn cummings"... i see there are so many more interesting search terms i could have come up with...

as i close this window happily grateful that the Goodbye Girl was playing on cable so that i would google "Quinn Cummings" and find her very entertaining blog, i now must run to look up the definition of "eidetic" ...

10:21 PM  
Blogger Sara J. Henry said...

Wondered why I was suddenly getting hits from people searching Quinn Cummings and Quinn Cummings, actress (I have a post referring to this blog.)

Most of my hits come from the search terms "Garth Stein," "dogs and pineapple," "Ooma phone," "wild dogs in Vermont," and "Russian maid." I think in particular the folks searching for Russian maid are quite disappointed.

10:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For the life of me, I can't imagine why anyone would want to even PRETEND to be me.

Good to know you are still out there Quinn ( and I think I really mean 'out there').

Find me on the myspace or the facebook.

Robbie Rist

P.S. You were in Goodbye Girl?

10:40 PM  
Blogger preppyplayer said...

I am a reader who didn't realize why your name sounded so familiar...Duh.

So you had me as a writer and now the deal is sealed cuz I loved that movie!
My hits come from a post I did on pea December... from all over the world.
What is it about pea coats?

6:05 AM  
Blogger Judy said...

I love your blog. Can't wait for the book. Nice title!

If one were to google "Steenstra's Almond Santa Claus Cookies" one would find me."

6:06 AM  
Blogger Claire said...

I feel like an insider now. And too bad you weren't in "The Shawshank Redemption". There are several cable networks that are All Shawshank, All the Time...31 cents times 10 million, and you're talking about real money.

6:06 AM  
Blogger Leta said...

For me it's "Gluten-free pop tarts." I get found that way so often (several times a week) that I actually wrote to the Whole Foods Gluten-Free Bakehouse and said that if WF introduced GF toaster pastries, I could guarantee that they would sell.


6:17 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Can't believe I never saw the The Goodbye Girl before. You were awesome in it.

7:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I knew you were a child actress, but didn't realize you were in The Goodbye Girl. I loved that movie, saw it when it came out but not since and unfortunately missed it on cable this weekend. May I suggest you spend your 31 cent royalty on ice cream? :o)

9:17 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Dead people hardly ever write blogs, but they do tweet. Here's one of my absolute faves:

10:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't feel bad, preppyplayer...I'm in the same boat. I read this blog for months before I had any idea Quinn was Goodbye Girl Quinn, and my sisters and I watched that movie over and over in my youth. Doh!

12:06 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I actually found you in Good Housekeeping,of all places. They featured your blog about your search for a Fair Isle sweater for daughter. That was about the same time I was thinking about get into blogging as way to free up more space in my brain for useful things like Dr's appointments and the like. You made it look like fun. So you kind of were an inspiration to just go for it.

Thanks, Quinn! :)

Peace - Rene

2:41 PM  
Blogger Dawn Maria said...

Even though I'm here often, I loved the Quinn in review post. Cannot wait for the book- please come to Arizona on your tour.

5:11 PM  
Blogger Susan said...

Man, I can't believe Char commented here! I follow her blog and she mine. Small blogworld!

Quinn, I've followed your blog for a while and love it. So funny that you posted about the movie, because I looked at the TV listings that afternoon and saw 'The Goodbye Girl' and had to watch it again for the umpteenth time. And, of course, sing along with the song at the end which I always do.

I think you were great in the movie and I loved you in 'Family', too!

4:54 AM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

Apparently some dead people do write blogs:

2:04 PM  
Blogger BiPolar Wife said...

Googling the movie was how I found your blog. I have this weird ritual of putting in a movie while I'm doing my medical transcription and while I can't actually watch the movie while I'm working, it's nice to have something on in the background (kids are at school all is too quiet!) Where was I going with this? Oh, yes, so, "The Goodbye Girl" is one of my faves to put in because I love that time period (I was born in 68 so the 70s were innocently fun for me). I think I have had a crush on Richard Dreyfuss since I first saw the movie when I was at a drive in with my parents when I was 10.

6:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So many, many years ago, when I was living in Los Angeles and trying to break into the biz, I worked in the Units (remember those ridonkulous modular clothing stores?!) store in the Beverly Center. You came in one night and we ended up talking for almost an hour. You were awesome and funny and warm and it's actually one of my favorite "when I lived in LA" stories.

It's years later, and I am a civilian now, and back living in the San Fran Bay Area. I am really happy to see you doing so well. Thanks for taking the time to blog--it's like catching up with an old friend.


12:06 AM  
Blogger Deberlee said...

It must be so odd (and more than a little funny) reading the search terms that lead people to your blog, Quinn. I would imagine it must be like seeing your name mentioned in those gossip mags like The Enquirer. I mean, really, where do they dream up their information and if no one really believes what they read in those mags, how come so many copies are sold? Odd....

I found your blog a couple months ago as it was mentioned in your Internet Movie Database mini biography. I originally saw you in the theatres in The Goodbye Girl. I've watched many, many times since then and, in fact, I just bought it for my iPod (hope you get residual checks for that!). It is my all-time favorite "feel good" movie. It reminds me of simpler times in my life when I was a young teenager.

Thank you for blogging and sharing yourself with us all.

p.s. I think it's kind of funny that Robbie Rist posted a response in response to your mentioning him in this post. I remember him on the Brady Bunch - never really found him annoying...just cute!


11:39 AM  
Blogger laura linger said...

I watched TGG for literally the eight trillionth time the other night, and yes, I cried at the very end like I always do. When it's pouring and you go get His Guitar and Marsha takes it out in the rain and the piano for the theme song kicks just doesn't get much better than that. What a neat thing, to have been a part of such a lovely film. And I will permit myself to fawn just a little: your performance in that movie is a real hoot. You *owned* that part, girl.

1:38 AM  
Blogger Jeannine Garsee said...

I found TGG a while back while flipping through channels and watched it with new puppy Elijah who REFUSED to sleep! I think he enjoyed it. He was glued to the screen.

2:55 PM  
Blogger portlandgirl said...


I saw The Goodbye Girl when it first came out, and you were so wonderful in that movie with Marsha...It is STILL one of my favorite movies....The song STILL makes me cry...and I am not some hysteric, really. It sounds like you are very happy and from reading your blog for about a year, you are a very good writer. I really enjoy your observations. You have done very well not screwing up your life, like a lot of other children actors. I am so glad.

Thanks for sharing.

1:34 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I can't breathe! This is why I drop in from time to time.

BTW, I'm an IMDB junkie and well, I looked up Family about two years ago and well, one thing led to another...

10:17 PM  
Blogger Wendy Webster said...

Hi Quinn,

I'm so glad I found out about your book today and your blog! I'm looking forward to your book, can't wait till July! Are you going to be visiting the talk shows to sell it? We haven't seen you in so long, you are missed. I absolutely loved your performance in the Goodbye Girl which I saw in the theatre with my mother several times and oh course own the DVD and watch it and cry over and over again. Even convinced hubby to watch it and he agrees it's wonderful. Your acting was so fabulous, why didn't you continue with your acting career?

Wendy in NC

9:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am working my way through my netflix queue of greatest movies ever. TGG was in the mix as recommended by friends who like to give me advice on movies that came before my time. :) I loved it! Watched it tonight with Serpico and both you and Al Pacino were fabulous in your respective movies. heehee. Of course hubby and i had to google you after b/c you looked so familiar. I thought you could be the mom of the girl who played the young CeCe D in Beaches as you remind me of each other as children.

In any case, I'm rambling, but it's good to find your blog and read of your adventures. Including the cat drama.

7:50 PM  
Blogger Roberta Lipp said...


I just found your blog, not through googling you but sadly, through your comment on Danny Miller's post today.

I'll try not to go on about how I adored you and felt a connection to you (I'm only a couple years older than you are and precocious was my middle name) but I warn you I may fail. That film really impacted me; it was a romantic ending for grownups but for a young teen it was the perfect dad fulfillment--the carriage ride was pure catharsis. (I just figured that out now as I'm writing.)

And that's the last of that out of me, from now on it's strictly bloggy stuff.

7:48 PM  
Anonymous La BellaDonna said...

Geoffrey Chaucer apparently has a blog, Quinn, and I think it's something you would enjoy.

For what it's worth, I know you ONLY as a writer. First I bought the book, and now I've found your blog; I have yet to see anything in which you acted (so far).

8:00 AM  

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