Don't Wanna Wait 'Til Tomorrow
The good news is, I’m sometimes inspired. The annoying news is, it’s never when I can do something about it. For example, if I’m ever going to have the Big Idea—the one which eventually pays for my very own island—I have it in the shower, as I’m shampooing. So I rinse and I condition, all the while chanting something like “Edible paper clips, edible paper clips,” so I don’t forget. But by the time I reach for the robe, 99 times out of 100, all I can remember is that for one shining instant, I was going to rule the office supply/snack industry.
So you can imagine my joy this morning when I actually remembered something all the way through robe-tying. Jeteing nimbly from the bathroom, I accosted Consort and announced, “We need to change the wallpaper on my Twitter-page to the new book.”
Consort, no one’s idea of a morning person, blinked at me and waited for me to stop being three people and become one. Eventually he played back what I said and said agreeably, “You’re right. We can do that now.”
I careened to the office and turned to ask him how I did this again, because while I might someday create edible paper clips I never remember how to change Twitter wallpaper. Consort was still standing in the hallway, staring approximately where I had just been. We morning people are a trial and a torment to the other kind of people.
“Sweetheart,” I said, a trifle impatiently, “If you're too tired, you don't have to do it, but tell me how to change the wallpaper.”
“What’s your rush?” Consort asked, looking longingly towards the kitchen, with its paper and its coffee and its not-careening.
“I’m not rushing; we just agreed I could do that now.”
Consort rumpled his hair. “Yeah, now. As in, soon.”
And with that, I just solved 15% of the Pointless Spousal Discussions we’ve had in the decade-plus we’ve been together. When I say “Now,” I mean Ideally, before another minute passes. Consort uses “Now” when he means The omens and augeries have aligned, and this thing can be done at some point from this present second to when the Sphinx crumbles. And then one of us ends up sighing, because the other one is insane.
Since it’s my blog, I am obliged to note my definition of Now is correct and Consort is insane. But he’s a better person than I am in all measurable ways, so I’ll cut him some slack.
[He is, however, insane. And wrong.]
So, here’s the question; is there a phrase with your loved one, or a friend, or a family member, that you two simply don’t use in the same way?