Blog Book Tour: Kathryn

Kathryn asks:

Let's start with restaurant toast. I prefer to put butter on my own toast. It may be a genetic trait, but so be it. Why do waitpeople have such a problem with that? You can not tell me that some chef in the back is going to throw a pot across the room or invoke a Gordon Ramsey snit fit because I prefer to butter my own toast.

I think it might be about habits and being forced to consider something you do unconsciously (buttering toast before you bring it into the dining room) and making it conscious. Watch what happens to a waiter's head if you interrupt them to ask a question when they are reciting the daily specials. Many appear to have to replay the first part again nonverbally before they can go on. I've never had a butter issue with the waitstaff except that there isn't enough. Bring me more. No, really. More. Yeah, judge me and come visit me after the cardiologist has to Roto-Rooter my aorta.

Now, on to home toast. Twice through the toaster on the light setting. Period. Paragraph. End of discussion. Unless you wish to discuss it. Oh, unless the toast is leftover pound cake. Once through will do it.

I like it a tick darker than light. Then again, as I have noted, I have virtually no sense of taste and it's nearly all texture for me, and beige toast doesn't have enough range to delight me. I need to occasional tobacco-colored bit to fight back as I'm biting down. Surprisingly, I have no opinions on leftover pound cake as a toast. However, I plan to have several opinions just as soon as I can get my hands on a pound cake and some quiet time.

By the way, I walked straight into a board today while telling a friend about the wonderful time I had reading your book. I couldn't stop laughing long enough to decide if I was hurt or not (I was not), so kept on with my story.

This proves what I have always suspected; I'm contagious. If you start romanticizing buying a house with questionable infrastructure and toying with cutting your own hair, my work is complete.