Saturday, February 13, 2010

My Boyfriend's Back

Dear Gap Kids,

Perhaps there was a misunderstanding. Perhaps no one who works at Gap Kids actually has children. So as the mother of a child, let me illuminate you. Describing a pair of pants that come in a size 7 as "Boyfriend Jeans" isn't cool, it's Creepy Uncle. I know that's a particular way of describing jeans for teenagers and women, but you have many hours a day to do nothing more than think up names for clothes and colors (You have three names alone for "Jeans we already tore up for you"); I have every faith you can think up another way to describe these pants.

I don't want this to be unremittingly negative, so let me commend you on your restraint in not calling your shorts "Hootchies."

Yours truly,
Quinn Cummings


Blogger susie said...


9:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy expensive "destructed" jeans. They charge more for destroying them before your child does!

9:39 AM  
Blogger Dodi said...

I'd sign this petition any day! It's hard trying to dress my 10 and 7 year old daughters and still have them look like children and not teen-skanks-in-training. Off the shoulder tops and boyfriend jeans at their age are just ridiculous.

(PLUS? How exciting for me that I pop over here on my birthday wondering if there is anything new up and see you posted on a Saturday!! I feel like I just got another birthday present! Thank you.)

10:21 AM  
Blogger Claire said...

Overly sexualized fashion for little girls is the only thing that has made me glad that I don't have a girl. Last year, my husband and I went to a University of Maryland women's basketball game, and there were hundreds of girls there, ranging in age from 7 to husband looked around and said "it's so nice to see little girls not dressed like prostitutes for a change".

1:09 PM  
Blogger Sara J. Henry said...

Be spontaneous more often, Quinn. Clearly your readers love it - and it can be a great letting-off-steam release (one of the primary functions of blogs!).

3:07 PM  
Anonymous Robin Raven said...

Oh. my. gosh. That's just dreadful. Growing up in the 80s, I always wanted to wear Little House on the Prairie dresses. I don't get the sexualization of kids with their clothes. Kids can't possibly even want that, unless that's how their role models are dressing? (eep). Surely, their parents don't.

Gap needs new clothes titlers!!

3:16 PM  
Blogger TheHappyHomemaker said...

Amen, Sister!

(Have you tried Gymboree? Cute cute it. They now go to age 12)

7:58 PM  
Blogger Dawn Maria said...

Okay, I'm a woman and I want Gap and other retailers to know that I don't want boyfriend jeans. The name makes it sound like I'm big and shapeless enough to fit into men's wear. The fashion industry has made me insecure about my body for years, let's leave the kids alone!

4:29 PM  
Anonymous Paula said...

This is why I always shopped at Talbots Kids for my daughter. Their sales were great, the clothes were never trampy.

5:37 AM  
Blogger JVRC said...

Oh, how I wish you'd take on Disney next. This idea that the young stars need to remain pure and wholesome and yet their music videos are all of these mid-teens being sexy. No wonder these kids are coming out of the pipeline screwed up. They get plenty of help in the Disney machine.

8:16 AM  
Blogger Workforced said...

So if no one that works at Gap Kids has kids does that mean no one who works at Burger King is actually royalty? This is terrible news!

Hello Quinn, I came across your blog looking for things about Nanny Goats in Panties (you posted in Aug 09). I would be massively grateful if you wouldn't mind mentioning my office comedy blog "Workforced: the office doesn't work" in your blog too. Check me out and see what you think.

I am to catch NGIP within 3 months (I like NGIP a lot, I'm a fan)!



9:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

By chance, I simply never shopped at Gap Kids and now I'm super glad this cosmic decision resulted in my hard-earned money not paying the wages of people who come up with this stuff. I am a blessed daughters, 16 and 14, are naturally very modest and dress that way as well. Amazingly cute and unique, but modest. On Tuesday, I watched my sweet 16 year old receive an academic award at school while wearing a huge bow headband, a darling little striped dress with leggings and bright purple Converse. And yes, she was the prettiest girl up there.

10:31 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

As the mother of an almost-seven-year-old daughter, I say a hearty AMEN.

Also, can we lay off the writing across the seat of the pants? I don't want my first grader's backside proclaiming that she's "sweet" or an "angel" or "devil" or "juicy" or anything else.


As tragic a fashion era as the 70s and 80s may have been (aka the Era of My Youth), at least they weren't as skanky and hootchie as today. I mean, none of us actually tried to go to school wearing Madonna's pointed bra (though the same can't be said for MC Hammer's parachute pants....) and besides, Gap Kids wasn't trying to sell itty-bitty cone bras back then anyhow.

8:40 AM  
Blogger Eliz said...

You said it more succinctly than I did:
Corporate America won't be happy, apparently, until every preschooler has a case of chlamydia.

7:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have the same problems dressing my seven-year-old daughter. Now that Talbots Kids is no more, it is even harder. I bought active pants on-line from Gap Kids, and was astonished when they arrived and had writing on the backside. What are they thinking??

8:49 PM  

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