Saturday, July 11, 2009

Blog Book Tour: Preppy Player

Preppy Player asks:

I guess because i feel like " toast " after a long weekend at another lacrosse tournament I will throw a few questions at you!Being the mother of five, I often wonder how it is to only have one child. Can you give me the pros and cons?Also, are sports a part of your family's life?

I never know quite how to answer that, because I don't know what it's like to have a big family. I had one child, I was an only child, my parents were only children; the family tree is a stick. I can tell you this from people I know who have gone from one to more after enough time so they had a sense of raising an only child. In some ways, my life is a lot easier, because I am only moving a single body around, factoring her needs into our needs. There's a reason you see parents taking their only child to things like theater, or ballet or a nice dinner more often than multiple kids; it's just easier to continue living an adult life with only one child. Also, you see only children at events and dinners because we could afford one extra dinner or ticket but not three. On the other hand, my daughter looks to me to be her primary companion when no one else is around. Parents of multiples never realize how often the desire to socialize in their children is ameliorated by their other children. Remember when your kids were three and they pretended with their siblings to be dinosaurs? When there are no siblings, you become the Mommy apatosaur, whether you had other plans or not.

She's just winding down in a sport she was into for years and years, and we're talking idly about what comes next, sports-wise. She'll be taking up something new because she's sports-mad and athletic and I think we learn a lot of life's more profound lessons on the field of play. Also, sports make her tired at the end of the day. I like when she's tired at the end of the day.


Blogger Peg said...

One thing that I have observed as the parent of an only child (and personally having grown up with three siblings) is that my daughter is more distressed when she disagrees with someone - perhaps because she didn't have the experience of the daily bickering and general give and take that children from larger families have. As my D was growing up I discussed this once or twice with other parents of only children and they agreed that the experience of maneuvering within a group of siblings serves a purpose and perhaps it takes only children longer to figure out their negotiating style with peers.

Like your daughter, mine was an athletic kid who participated in individual and team sports. I like to believe that those experiences gave her some insight into "shaking it off" and walking away when the game is over. Hopefully that experience translates into real life to some degree.

6:52 AM  
Blogger preppyplayer said...

Well Q and P, that is interesting.
I do know each of my children has said at one point that they wish they were an only child... usually when they were denied something because it was too expensive, when they wanted us to themselves, or when one of their sibs was horrid.
I had never thought that it may take more time to parent an "only" in that you may need to be a playmate or as what P said, that navigating conflict might be learned from sibs...

As for sports, I am a HUGE proponent of them. Keeps kids busy, healthy, and socialized, but so can the arts, and other hobbies.

Thanks for answering my ?'s :)

2:10 PM  

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